Michele Borba - Optimism

A Parent Guide by Dr. Michele Borba, for

Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle & Others Shine

Chapter Seven: OPTIMISM

Thrivers find the silver lining. Children strong in optimism display positivity and gratitude, learn self-advocacy and keep unrealistic pessimism in check to reduce despondence and encourage a hopeful outlook and belief that life has meaning.

KEY POINTS FROM CHAPTER SEVEN of THRIVERS

  • 3 Abilities Nurture Optimism: 1. Optimistic thinking; 2. Assertive communication; and 3. Hope.

  • Catch Pessimistic Thoughts. Create private code to remind child to catch/halt their negative comment.

  • Challenge Inaccurate Views. Teach how to counter, refute or balance pessimistic, inaccurate views.

  • Change Pessimistic Thoughts. Challenge sweeping negative (I always…never….every time) thoughts with “Reality Check!” Then help reframe them with more positive, realistic views.

  • Show How to Stand Up for Self. Help child learn to self-advocate (a proven THRIVER trait) by teaching each step in CALM. C-Chill to be taken seriously. A-Assert by developing comebacks (“Stop!” “Not cool”, “No.”) L-Look strong from head to toe; M-Mean it with an assertive-not wimpy-voice tone.

  • Teach Assertive Body Language. Head: stand tall, head high; Eyes: look eye-to-eye; Shoulders: pull down; Arms: at side; Hands: uncrossed; Feet: planted firmly, twelve inches apart.

  • Hold Goodness Reviews. Institute nightly review of good parts of each person’s day to focus on bright side.

  • Share Good News. Uplifting stories of everyday helpers in news or neighborhood can inspire hope.

  • Volunteer to Kindle Optimism. Lending a hand reduces stress and increases optimism. Make sure the giving project is something child wants to do, is done ideally face to face and isn’t just to look good on a resume.

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

What impact do you think the Pandemic and other troubling world events have on kids’ views? Do you think it’s harder to raise a child with hope?

My plan: How can I help my kids feel hopeful about today’s uncertain world? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My example: How can I model optimism so my children catch it? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lessons for my family: How will I strengthen my child’s optimism?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

©2021. Dr. Michele Borba. For more about Dr. Borba and her book, Thrivers see www.micheleborba.com