Michele Borba - Perseverance

A Parent Guide by Dr. Michele Borba, for

Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle & Others Shine

Chapter Six: PERSEVERANCE

Thrivers finish what they start and don’t need gold stars. Children strong in perseverance exhibit fortitude, tenacity, and the resolve to endure, so as to bounce back from failure, increase resolve to endure and develop personal agency.

KEY POINTS FROM CHAPTER SIX of THRIVERS

Perseverance Is a Super Power. The ability to stick to a task and a long-term goal is the greatest predictor of success and stronger than IQ, academic achievement, SAT scores, extra-curricular activities and test scores.

3 Abilities Nurture Perseverance: 1. Growth mindset; 2. Goal-setting; and 3. Learning from failure.

Teach Goal-Setting to Stretch Grit. Goals usually start with I will and have two parts: what (what you want to accomplish) and a when (when you plan to achieve it). Teach the formula “I will + what + when.”

Redefine Success. Define success as a four-letter word spelled G-A-I-N: an improvement or “one step higher” over past performance due to personal effort.

Chunk Tasks. Chunking tasks into smaller parts helps kids who have difficulties focusing, getting started, or feeling overly concerned that “everything’s right” so they’re more likely to succeed.

Add “Yet.” When you hear “can’t. never, won’t comments, respond with a growth mind-set phrase that helps your child know that with effort, he will improve.

Allow Failure. Thrivers use mistakes as success tool so they stick to tasks longer and don’t give up quickly.

Teach “One Thing.” Help child identity her stumbler (the one little thing getting in way of success) and fix it so it doesn’t derail success.

Praise Effort. To stretch child’s growth mind-set and perseverance, praise effort, not the end product.

Use a Balance. A demanding and supportive parental style in equal parts is the formula for perseverance.

PPERSONAL REFLECTIONS

Kids must be praised for their effort, not the grade or end product. What type praise do you typically give? Do you think it helps to instill a growth mind-set? How might you help your child handle mistakes or failures?

My take away ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My behavior: One way I will model perseverance to my children: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lessons for my family: How will I strengthen my child’s perseverance?

©2021. Dr. Michele Borba. For more about Dr. Borba and her book, Thrivers see www.micheleborba.com