Michele Borba - Integrity

A Parent Guide by Dr. Michele Borba, for

Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle & Others Shine

Chapter Four: INTEGRITY

Thrivers have a strong moral code and stick to it. Children who have strong integrity value and adhere to moral codes and values, are ethical thinkers, and practice honesty to lead good, moral lives.

KEY POINTS FROM CHAPTER FOUR of THRIVERS

  • 3 Abilities Nurture Integrity: 1. Moral knowing; 2. Moral identity; and 3. Ethical reasoning.

  • Use 4Rs of Moral Discipline to Increase Integriy. 1-Respond calmly; 2-Review why the behavior is wrong; 3-Reflect on behavior’s effects; 4-Right the wrong to help child plan how to improve and not repeat same act.

  • Moral Development Is Not Learned in A Vacuum. Find daily moments to discuss integrity.

  • Use Virtue Mantras. Mantras can help children understand character. Find one about integrity that fits your family/class values, then keep repeating and explaining it in context until your kids adopt it.

  • Acknowledge Integrity. Praise ethical behavior when your child displays it so he recognizes that you value it and he’ll be more like to repeat the action.

  • Teach the 3As to Develop Moral Reasoning. A1: Allow respectful disagreement; A2: Ask questions to help kids think about and defend moral issues; A3: Assert moral beliefs to stimulate moral views.

  • Identify Kid Service Concerns. Service learning can help develop integrity, but the experience must be developmentally appropriate, meaningful and match the child’s interest.

  • Kids Must Understand Integrity to Become It. Help your child understand what integrity is and why you value it with the acronym, “TEACH.” T-Target your touchstones; E-Exemplify character; A-Accentuate with a motto; C-Catch it (name and describe); H-Highlight and reinforce until child adopts

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

What are some of the sayings, proverbs, or experiences you recall from your childhood that helped you define your values? How are you passing on your moral beliefs to your child to help her develop Integrity?

My ah ha moment:

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My messages: How will I help my children understand why Integrity matters?

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My web: What have you done with your child recently to reinforce your moral beliefs

so she sees herself as a moral being?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

©2021. Dr. Michele Borba. For more about Dr. Borba and her book, Thrivers see www.micheleborba.com